THE HARD TALK  —  before you pull him aside

Heads-up (say this FIRST):
  "This one's tough — hear me all the way out before you answer."

The point (your first sentence, straight, no wind-up):
  "________________________________________________"

Two or three reasons why  (stop at three):
  1. ______________   2. ______________   3. ______________

Hand it over:  "What's going through your head?"   Then listen. All the way.

Say it back:   "So what you're telling me is _______________________."
               (repeat till he says: yeah, that's it)

If the answer is NO:
  "I can't — and here's the one reason: ____________________."
  He pushes back? Same line, again. Don't reopen it.